"You're the real expert. I'm not even sure why they promoted me."
This was me during a speech to senior people at my alma mater, the Defense Information School, minimizing my success.
This post is inspired by today's Leader Transition Institute post called The Growth Zone+. It's a weekly post helping us better understand ourselves.
The topic was not allowing what others think of you to stifle your success.
I read it and remembered all the times I apologized for my success.
My profession was dog-eat-dog. A “what have you done for me lately” type environment. That was my summation as I reflected at the sunset of my military career, four years ago.
PAOs moved faster than the average Soldier. Our Privates interviewed Generals. We worked in radio and television and social media and reached masses. And we worked to support media access to our troops.
There is no "off" button when you're a PAO.
This is a personal observation on my individual experience.
I moved through the ranks fast. I raised my hand for the hard jobs, did well, and was rewarded. But once I did, others began to question me.
Looking back I shouldn't have cared. Instead, it wasn't uncommon for me to go out of my way to tell a peer I'd been selected over, "you're the real expert. I'm not even sure why they promoted me." or "this rank doesn't matter. You deserve it more than me."
The faster I reached the top, the more some of my peers openly questioned what I was doing to succeed. It couldn't be that I worked hard could it? Or spent my nights and weekends working on attaining my graduate degree? Or the thousands of hours I spent working out, or reading work related items, or raising my hand to do extra duties, or deploy, etc. (to the detriment of my family.)
To others it absolutely had to do with me knowing someone on the inside. Or being someone's favorite, or being a diversity hire. WTF? I earned everything I got on merit.
There I was, a sergeant major who reached the zenith of my field as its regimental sergeant major, self-effacing my service to a crowd of peers, some of whom ignored my speech altogether because it was "just" Jose.
Thankfully, some of my peers, as well as previous superiors and subordinates, genuinely value me as a person, a friend, and professional. I care about them deeply and count them as friends today. The others, I've learned to let go of.
If you struggle with minimizing your success, reach out to a behavioral healthcare professional or chaplain. They can share terrific techniques to break those instincts.
You can also sign up for the Leader Transition Institute's "Changing Focus: Moving from We to Me" workshop. It's an absolute masterclass on human behavior skills to be your best self moving forward. Here's the link to learn more. If you're reading this in August of 2024, the registration deadline is coming up for the September workshop. Please go to https://leadertransitioninstitute.org/changing-focus/ so sign up.
If you're reading this later, these workshops are done monthly. Please consider taking one if you're in transition out of the military. Go to the same website to look for dates that fit your schedule.
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