Is this thing on? My head?

 

I'm officially at that point in my life where I look around at everyone else my age and think "damn, they look so old."

Pot calling kettle black and all.

Isn't it weird how we don't see ourselves as our age?

I think it's why I hesitated for four years after retiring from the military to show myself publicly with an Army Retired hat.

I kept thinking "this is for old people who can't move on."

As with many things in my life, wisdom comes from being humbled once or twice and accepting new ways of thinking.

Such is the case with this hat.

A few weeks ago my friend Alfredo posed an incredible question in "Alfredo's Coffee House," an open forum Zoom call he does on Sundays at noon eastern time.

He asked if people had done retirement or transition ceremonies. There were varying opinions. In my case I did one, even if it was small due to retiring during the pandemic. As I'm sure you've heard people say, "it's not about you but those who care about you." But it was about me too.

It's sort of like missing your prom or graduation ceremony. You only get one shot at it.

Some people may leave the military with a bad taste in their mouths. Maybe things didn't work out the way you wanted. Maybe that last assignment was brutal. And maybe you'd rather forget it than take any pride in your service.

But something I've learned in my life is hearts tend to soften in time. Hate is a very heavy weight to carry, and in many cases, some of us finally put it down.

If you're leaving the military soon, you may need some time to process your emotions and take stock of your service. You may feel you don't want to identify with it any longer. You might be completely opposed to Veteran or retiree hats or bumper stickers.

And maybe you'll always feel that way.

But what I learned this past weekend when I wore my hat in public was, my heart swelled with pride when someone thanked me for my service, and a fellow retiree I walked by at the grocery store stopped and asked me what units I served in. It felt pretty cool.

Although he thought being a Marine was better than being an Airborne Paratrooper. 🤷‍♂️ I think not.🙄 We got a good laugh at the inter-service rivalry and moved on with our day. I don't know about him, but it was the highlight of my weekend.

Listen, you may not be ready to reminisce yet. But don't allow your service to your country to be permanently controlled by your last commander or first sergeant. They're living rent-free in your head, while in the real world they don't even remember your name.

I'm not ready to wear this hat all the time. When I look in the mirror, I still think it's for old people, and not spring chickens like me. But I'm ok with wearing it more often. It feels good.

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