I Have PBD

Haven't posted a blogpost in awhile but this seems like as good a time as any. I'd like to share with my friends that I am suffering from a horrible condition. It's called PBD or "Post-Brady Disorder." 
As I understand it, the condition is caused by the loss of Tom Brady as the Quarterback of the New England Patriots.

Symptoms include extreme sadness, anxiety, difficulty breathing, and bouts of hissy-fits. Additional symptoms include worrying he'll end up on a stupid team like Tennessee or Tampa Bay and whether I can really get behind an Andy Dalton as my team's starting quarterback.

Unfortunately the condition has no cure. No amount of Our Fathers or Hail Mary's will bring Tom Brady back. Therefore I have accepted I must go through the 5-stages of grief. I went through Denial in my car this morning as I read the news prior to getting out. I then became irrationally Angry honking my horn and screaming as the man in the car parked next to me looked on in horror. I then tried to Bargain by calling the Patriots switchboard and offering my collection of sweet Pats swag to sweeten a deal he'd accept. I spent most of the day in such a deep Depression, I didn't even drink my Dunkin' Donuts large coffee with extra cream, extra sugar. And now as my workday comes to a close, I have embraced Acceptance. Why? I am a lifelong Pats fan. I cheered on the Pats when they sucked in the 70s, 80s and 90s. I lost my mind during the few glimmers of Super Bowl hope we experienced during those years. And should the decades ahead hold a similar fate so be it. I lived the greatest 20 year run of the greatest team in football during the most dominant era in the history of the game, with the greatest quarterback of all time.

I ask you not to be sad for me. I'll embrace each day by binge-watching recordings of previous Super Bowl wins and when the season starts, post annoyingly on your Facebook feed about my team because I'm Pats red, white and blue...thru and thru. 

I'll even find a way to stomach an Andy Dalton if the rumor he's headed for the Patriots turns out to be true. But thank you for the prayers and well wishes. As Bill Belichick says, "we're on to the next game."

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