Success Starts Here!

 I'd like to start by doing something I have probably done once or twice the entire time I have been blogging. I'd like to start with a photo:    As you can tell, it is a photo of a group of monks reaching the shores of a beautiful set of rapids/waterfalls. From the photo itself, we don't know why they are there, but we know they are there. So really the only logical next question is what are they going to do next? We'll get to that.    Today marks the end of this calendar year. For some of us it has been an incredible year full of new opportunities, health, great successes, maybe even new love. For some of us, 2013 was a terrible year full of pain and sorrow. For even others, it was a pretty unimpressive and rather forgetful year.    With that set of varied experiences and as we move forward into the new year, many people make it a point to declare New Years Resolutions. Of course the argument by many through personal experience or observation is, practically

Many people ask me why I am so into Christmas. With me it is an incredibly special time of year which I look forward to all year long. If you ask any of my Facebook friends, they might tell you I can be just a little bit annoying posting reminders of how long is left till Christmas all the way out in March. I suspect one or two has even hidden my comments so they no longer appear on their pages, and to them I say, Merry Christmas anyway. This Christmas Eve, I'd like you to consider for a moment the traditional story of Joseph and Mary as they headed to Bethlehem. For the sake of not having 500 messages following this post of people who "believe" and those who don't tearing each other limb from limb in the comments, I would like to ask that you take the story at its face value, just for the sake of this post. Just the story of a guy and his very pregnant wife on their way to his ancestral home to of all things, be counted on a census and get taxed. I guess even back

Unlike some of my friends, I am not a self-proclaimed coffee snob, but I love my coffee. I don't drink fufu-coffee with 15 different flavors which leave you wondering if it is liquid candy instead. And I sure am no coffee-baby born out of the Starbucks revolution which made coffee "cool" in the U.S. In Hispanic culture, in particular Puerto Rican culture which is what I am most familiar with, coffee is part of growing up. As a boy, I remember visiting my grandmother in Puerto Rico during summer vacation. She always thought her "Gringo" grandson from Massachusetts was quite funny. I was about as comfortable in her little country home as a fish in a tree. I was scared of the farm animals, had feet far too tender to walk around without shoes, couldn't swim in the river behind the house without half-drowning, and probably complained a time or ten million, about the mosquitos. Needless to say from my grandmother's perspective, I was probably not much of a c

As many of you who read my blog may have noticed, I shy away from writing too directly about religion because as we all know, religion is a hot topic which immediately denotes negativity and divisiveness and my blog has always been about inspiration and positivity. Having said that, I have commented many times on the ideas and individuals at the center of many religions and today would like to share the Buddhist teaching of the Acorn. The story goes the Buddha was sitting with his followers one day and meditating when he noticed an acorn laying on the ground next to him. He picked it up and asked his followers what it was. They answered it was an acorn. He asked what it was for. His followers gave him many reasons. It was food for squirrels and humans, it could be used as decoration, it was a reminder of the seasons passing. Finally one of his followers in a confused tone said "an oak tree?" The Buddha replied, "this little acorn exists for only one reason. It has the

I took my dog out this morning and really felt a nip in the air. It reminded me Fall is in full swing. Some of you may know from my incessant Facebook posts that my favorite holiday is Christmas. But in all honesty, my favorite season is the Fall. While some see the Fall as a time when things are slowing down, anyone with kids knows this is absolutely not a slow time of year. For me, the Fall is a time of change and a time to revisit old goals. I don't know about you but if I am going to accomplish anything, I need a deadline. Maybe it is because as a kid I made it a habit to wait till the night before a project was due that I had six months to complete to start working on it. I need deadlines or I will just sorta procrastinate till the last second. So for me, the Fall has become a great and easy time to revisit old New Years resolutions I long ago failed at and give them another shot; especially since the most notable calendar deadline of all is just a few short months away; New

This weekend was the Mr. Olympia bodybuilding competition in Las Vegas. The "Olympia" is the Superbowl of the world of bodybuilding and fitness. It was started by a guy named Joe Weider back in 1964 to celebrate the human form and the limits which people could take it to. The men and women who compete are in all reality, the largest, most developed human beings in the history of mankind. Last night a gentleman named Phil Heath won the men's portion of the competition for a third time. Regardless of your opinion (or lack thereof) of anything in the sport, I'd just like to share a lesson I take from it daily. Many people think of bodybuilders as stupid meatheads who throw weights around and pump steroids into their bodies all day. If that is your only opinion of bodybuilders and you're not open to any other insight then you should probably not waste your time with the rest of this. But if you are open to a lesson we can learn from them, please read on. I don'

Today we celebrate the first full day of Fall 2013. Of course in celebrating this first day of a new season, we must bid farewell to our Summer and with it I hope some wonderful memories and times. Fall is a special season for me. It like Spring, is a transitional season but to me the Fall signifies change, and warm memories of some of the best times of my life. For too many of us, the fall is unfortunately a time where we put goals on the back burner. We use the old excuses of all the holidays back to back, and everything we "have" to do to prepare for them, and all of a sudden, any semblance of success with goals we may have been succeeding at all summer disappear. You probably know someone who has said "I'll have to wait till the beginning of the year" when you ask how their goals are going. They'll use all the excuses in the book. Let me know if you've heard any of these quotes: It's getting colder and my joints, oh my joints. It's footb

I was talking to a friend of mine a few days back. You know how you've got some people who don't like what they do? You know how others really despise their jobs? He doesn't despise it; he absolutely, positively HATES his job. So the obvious question of course is why does he keep doing it? That's where it gets tricky for most of us. Let's face it, the vast majority of us are not in our ideal job. Or at least not the job we dreamed of as young men and women in high school or college. A few of us have jobs we passionately love, and some of us have great work environments of supportive colleagues and friends and so we consider our job loved, but I don't think I need a scientific study to tell me most of us are working where we sorta "landed" after high school or college or however we found our way to the workforce. So on this Labor Day, I'm here to tell you exactly what you'd think Mr. Mumbo-Jumbo Motivational Blogger would tell you, "if y

Football season is upon us. That incredible time of year when the Pigskin rules many an American household is back and I for one am looking forward to it. This is probably where those of you who don't care much for football are thinking of cutting out. Yet, if you'll indulge me for just a few more moments, maybe you'll find some value in this post; or at least not feel like you wasted your time on the Bench. Football is of course a truly American sport. Much like Baseball, Basketball or Hockey, it harkens many of us to special memories we shared with loved ones in years gone by. It also serves as a metaphor for life. To quote Al Pacino in the movie Any Given Sunday, "Football is a game of inches." He goes on to motivate his players to win the game, one inch at a time. Life throws us some incredibly difficult Spirals and at times it's hard to see how we're going to get through our current difficulties facing a Wildcat Formation. The light at the end of t

This blog post isn't about Catholicism. It isn't even really about the Pope. This blog post is my opinion about something I consider a huge plague on our society today, the seemingly lost art of figuring out exactly who or more specifically why we are. This past week, Pope Francis, popular successor to Pope Benedict has been visiting Brazil. Everywhere he goes, tens of thousands of youth follow him. He is getting the attention of a rock star. To most non-believing Americans, the fervor is third-world nonsense. Generally speaking, we have long since intellectualized ourselves out of religion in the United States. It is the dead hocus pocus of ignorant people gone by. We are far too "smart" to be believing in some deity we can't see. Yet the human soul, the human heart, the id, whatever you want to call your subconscious self, has always desired to not only understand "who" you are (an answer which can in some respects be answered rather completely), bu

You get up in the morning and pour that tasty first cup of coffee and maybe like many people, go to Facebook to see what your friends are up to. You start looking at wallposts when boom, there it is; your "victim" friend does it again. They're sending a note to all the people who "don't care," or asking "why" nobody loves them, or begging for attention in any of a million whiny, far-too-expected ways. I am all about empathy and sympathy but friends who are constantly making themselves out to be victims are incredibly draining aren't they? I'm not talking about the person who has an occasional mishap, falls a little short sometimes, or says a little more than he/she should after having a few drinks. I'm talking about the person who actively works to be a victim 24/7. The person you could say the most positive thing to and can somehow turn it around into a story about how horrible their life is. So what do you do with friends like that

I am such a lucky man. I have amazing friends who truly encompass the entire spectrum of opinions and beliefs. Thanks to Mr. Zuckerman, I enjoy watching banter and opinions regularly streaming down my Facebook page. I try to remain respectful of those deep opinions and usually look for humor to try to bridge the gap between friends who's opinions are polar opposites. Over the last couple of years, I've seen divisions grow to toxic proportions around political parties during the elections, firearms, and same-sex marriage. Yet no subject ever seems to promote as deep a divide as "color" in this country; most recently the Trayvon Martin case which we are ALL intimately familiar with at this point. What surprises me most is the predictability of the divisions. It truly pains me to see how loving and tolerant and seemingly "open" people lose their marbles and fall-in when the issue is race. It can go from 2013 to 1956 in no-seconds flat on my FB wall, and it ha

Shhh, this is one of the biggest secrets of all time. The magic formula for success, is HARD WORK. Sorry folks, I know you wanted something more dramatic. But that's it. I was watching a bodybuilding competition the other day and during the post-competition press conference, one of the reporters joked "how do I get as big as you?" Steroid controversy aside (for my more sarcastic friends), the competitor said "hard work, consistency, and determination." It made me think of how we, especially we Americans, have gotten so used to get rich quick schemes, six minute abs, the latest contraption on HSN, the latest pill or powder, the next big thing from your favorite technology company, that we expect everything to be within our reach within minutes. We are a society of "right now." Unfortunately and contrary to popular belief, success does not come from a pill or a contraption or a six-minute anything. Success comes from exactly what that bodybuilder said

I've gotta vent to you guys, venting is not as good for you as you might think. Today I wanted to talk about a topic which is near and dear to me, venting. Because of my job, I find myself at the center of a lot of work "drama." Let's say I'm like the guy between the boss and the employees. The guy the boss turns to when he needs an ear to let go of frustrations he can't share with the employees, and the guy the employees go to when they need a trusted shoulder to lean on. Needless to say, I hear a lot of venting. Some people seem to not know how to communicate in any other way as a matter of fact :). After many years of being supportive of people who vent, I came to the conclusion that venting isn't always the helpful mechanism we make it out to be. Now before you get upset and have to go vent to someone about my comments, just hear me out. When we think of venting, we think of getting this weight off our chest. The goal is to let this heavy issue go b

Father's Day, 1984; I was sitting in my cousin's house listening to the big deal they made about the day trying to understand exactly what my uncle brought to the table. He was a nice guy, seemingly had some role in his sons' lives (all his kids were boys), but for the life of me, I really couldn't understand the significance of a father. He had taught them lots of things but nothing I hadn't learned on my own. I grew up without a dad. Of course I had a father and I loved him dearly, but he wasn't part of the equation. That's no slam on him. He was who he was and made the decisions he made. But he quite literally was not an equation in my day-to-day life. Mom raised me. While sadly far too common today, back then our tiny family was the anomaly. My mother was the center of my world and taught me everything I needed to survive as best she could. So getting back to my cousins' house, I just didn't get it. I figured my mom had taught me all the lesso

As Facebook would have it, I crossed paths with an old friend who hasn't actively been in my life for awhile. He is a great guy and it was a true pleasure to spend some time catching up. I could hear him repeating old stories of times gone by, the crazy things we once did, and reminders of the man I once was. I entertained the stories and really enjoyed the trip down memory lane but I found that every time I tried to bring the conversation back to the here and now, I was met with the slightest bit of resistance. I could tell regardless of what I told him about my life today, he could only envision me through the prism of another time, and in another time I was a very different person. Hence the title to this post. As to be 100% sure I was using the word correctly (I have been known to use the wrong words quite convinced I sound intelligent), I looked the word Dichotomy up. "A division into two mutually exclusive, opposed, or contradictory parts." That's what the dic

So ok ok, some of you may know I am heavily into bodybuilding these days. And when I say "into" I mean,  I'm inspired by it and working towards looking like a bodybuilder, but I'm still shaped a little bit like if an M&M had a baby with Spongebob Squarepants. In other words, I'm a work in progress. But, I am in the gym 6 days a week and happily on my way, getting closer to my goals day by day. Anyway, I tell you this only to set the foundation for my comments; the "more you do, the more you get." Over the past year I've learned a lot of lessons in the gym, but the biggest lesson I've learned is that humans are HIGHLY adaptable. That is good and bad. The good part is no matter what life throws at us, we can usually meet the challenge or better yet, overcome it. Human beings are so adaptable, we have become the predominate species on this planet. I mean at some point, a naked human walked into a cold valley somewhere and thought "man I&#

There are a lot of my friends who are posting photos and reminders on FB and other social media sites about the reason for the season. Many have and will post notes urging friends to remember the purpose behind Memorial Day weekend, which is absolutely NOT grilling some steaks and drinking some beers. Having said that, I will be grilling some steaks, and while I don't drink anymore, definitely drinking a few sodas or some cold "welcome to summer lemonade :)." I will do it because to me, the greatest way I can think of to honor my brothers and sisters in uniform who have made the ultimate sacrifice, is to "LIVE" my life. That is what I would want of my friends and family if I passed away; that they live the lives I cannot. I think back to my deployment to Afghanistan some years ago and I think of good friends like Rick and Tony, Vanessa and Laly, John, Rob, Eric, and my right hand man and partner in crime, Chris. That was a tough deployment, a tough 15 months,

Mom,   From where you sit today, perched above the heavens, chances are you already know the things I did which weren't the "best" as a child. So I'd just like to publicly apologize on this special day when I honor you, my beautiful mother, and all mothers out there. Here's a list, not a complete list because the years have been long and the brain cells don't work as well as they once did. But here's my confession: 1. I didn't mean to, but I sat on the parakeet. I let him out to play with him when you weren't home and he got lost. I sat down to think about where he could be and low-and-behold, I found him, squished under me. I put him back in the cage and hoped you'd think he died a natural death. 2. Remember when the power went out in the house and right before it you heard a loud explosion coming from my bedroom? Science experiment to gain superpowers gone wrong. 3. That toilet that overflowed into the hallway, well the truth is it wasn

Remember that one time when you had a goal and every single person in your life stood behind you and then you succeeded and everyone was happy for you? Chances are, if you're alive, you've probably never fully experienced this. Not fully. And if you have, you are one incredibly lucky person. Unfortunately, in real life some people are going to root for you to fail. I'd like to tell you I understood all the psychological reasons why but I am not expert. All I know is for whatever reasons, many very complicated, there are always people who will wish for you to fail. This is even more prominent in this era of social media because let's face it, far too many of us share way too much with people who should have zero say in our lives and the choices we make. I consider myself an incredibly positive person. I "choose" to be positive and happy and for anyone who has followed my blog for any amount of time, hopefully I have expressed that opinion many times before.

I'm not the most exciting guy. Actually at Casa di Jose, weekends are just sort of rest-and-recharge days for the most part. I've got friends who are so incredibly adventurous. They'll back their camper trailers onto their trucks, jump in and go. Others will buy a last minute plane ticket to the islands and just disappear. While others head to the mountains to hike and climb. Me, the furthest I tend to go is the gym to get my swole on and maybe hit the store if we're out of something. So why am I so different than many of my friends? Well I guess I have to admit, I'm probably not as unique as I'd like to believe. I suspect many of us follow the "Casa di Jose" weekend model. As I've searched for all the reasons I'm wired the way I'm wired, I think back to growing up and wonder if some of the things which happened then, don't continue to affect me subconsciously. Growing up in what many people outside that world would call "the hood

Today is a great day in my household. my youngest son is receiving what we Catholics call, his Confirmation. For those who may not know, the Catholic church has a series of sacraments or steps we take in our walk with God. In their most sincere form, they're designed to involve us closer in the church and help us grow spiritually. The Confirmation is particularly very important because it is the opportunity for a child, usually a teenager, to confirm his beliefs and if you will, validate that the Baptism his/her parents held for them when they were babies, is indeed still acceptable to them. That the grace the parents asked God to bestow on them when they couldn't speak for themselves, is a grace the now-teenager consciously chooses in his or her life. I know to those of you from other beliefs or who may not believe at all, this may sound like silly mumbo jumbo, but I hope you will respect it as our belief. Anyway, the point of this post isn't to teach you about Catholic

First, for all my Christian friends who celebrate this day for religious reasons and also to my friends who celebrate it as a fun holiday to hand out Easter eggs to kids and spend some quality time with family, Happy Easter! This will not be some religious discourse. This will be, however, a post on "faith." The title says "Christmas on Easter? A Matter of Faith." The truth is, as many of you know, to the faithful Christian, the celebration of Jesus' life begins on the day we recognize his birth but doesn't end until the day we recognize and celebrate his resurrection, Easter. It really is a stretch to logically believe any of this "mumbo jumbo." A guy is born, runs around performing miracles, tells people he is a god, people get jealous and find a way to put him to death, and then, least logical of all, he dies for all of our sins and is resurrected from the dead three days later. So why do so many people believe? Some of my more "enlight

Webster's Dictionary of the word Deliberate: Done with or marked by full consciousness of the nature and effects; intentional. How many of us live "Deliberately?" I suspect very few. I believe most of us live on autopilot. We go through the motions day in and day out. Even our complaining is automated. We wish for better things, better outcomes to our life, but continue to do the same thing day after day. We tend to control very little about our lives. We have the power to control pretty much anything and everything about our lives yet we don't. If you look at all the greats who ever lived and the titans who live today, do they live their lives on autopilot or do they live deliberately? I think we both know the answer to that. Imagine if Gandhi or Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. had lived on autopilot? We probably wouldn't know their names today and the world would definitely be far less off had they not lived deliberate, meaningful lives. These are the seconds of

Maybe Old Blue Eyes said it best in his song My Funny Valentine; "but don't you change one hair for me, not if you care for me, stay little valentine, stay." It's interesting that Valentine's day is linked with new love so much and that's OK I guess. To me though, the true meaning of the holiday lies not just in new love, but the kind that endures; the kind that lasts past all the faking we all do to attract each other and keep each others' attention during an early romance. I'm gonna be honest, I'm a mess. I've made more mistakes than most over the years; some real whoppers. I started out pretty good looking if I do say so myself (I kid), but the years are wearing on me. I am far from the perfect male model and nobody has ever confused me for Enrique Iglesias. I can be moody and stubborn, like to be pretend I'm right more than I actually am, and sometimes I proudly let a "silent but deadly" one slip out while si

I like many of you am totally obsessed with The Walking Dead. It is an incredibly well written and well produced psychological thriller of a television show. As luck would have it, it is about to start it's new season. Like many of you have done since the show's inception, I've tried to mentally place myself in the situations the characters find themselves in and while it is fun in fantasyland, I would definitely prefer it never happen in real life. In studying the show, I've thought about some key takeaways we could all benefit from and use in our everyday lives. There are more, but I've narrowed a couple down I'd like to share with you. First thing I would say which has been reinforced in me is the attitude of "it is what it is." That attitude is incredibly potent in that many of us (myself included) try to find meaning in everything that happens in our worlds, especially when things don't go well. Sometimes a family member unexpectedly gets