New Year, New You?
I'd like to start by doing something I have probably done once or twice the entire time I have been blogging. I'd like to start with a photo:
As you can tell, it is a photo of a group of monks reaching the shores of a beautiful set of rapids/waterfalls. From the photo itself, we don't know why they are there, but we know they are there. So really the only logical next question is what are they going to do next? We'll get to that.
Today marks the end of this calendar year. For some of us it has been an incredible year full of new opportunities, health, great successes, maybe even new love. For some of us, 2013 was a terrible year full of pain and sorrow. For even others, it was a pretty unimpressive and rather forgetful year.
With that set of varied experiences and as we move forward into the new year, many people make it a point to declare New Years Resolutions. Of course the argument by many through personal experience or observation is, practically all New Years Resolutions fail. There are a few exceptions in there but for the most part, they fail.
Why is it so hard to keep New Years Resolutions? My opinion is you begin with the premise that you are going to change "you." That is an automatic step towards failure. Let's be honest, you are who you are. Good, bad, or indifferent, you are the product of all your previous actions, all your previous thoughts, and all your previous experiences. You are exactly where you put yourself in life. Exactly where you put yourself. So if you are going to give up smoking to "be" a better person, your entire being is going to reject that notion even if it is a healthy choice. Your brain is subconsciously all about protecting you, even from yourself. So if you change what it considers a "good thing" you better believe it is going to find ways to sabotage your goal. You can pretty much use that analogy for any resolution. As long as you go in trying to "change" you, you're destined to fail.
In my humble opinion, a change in the person comes as a by-product of the actions they take. You have to add positive experiences and thoughts to your library of other experiences and thoughts. You have to prove to your subconscious that the change you are working towards is indeed a good thing for it. Then and only then will your body and mind truly welcome the idea of changing you for what you consider the better.
I guess what I'm trying to say is if you really want a positive habit to replace a negative habit then you have to act in such a way to force yourself to follow the positive habit against all odds long enough for your mind and body to accept it.
This is exactly why gyms are full on the 1st of January but back to the select few who go year-round by the start of February. Everyone knows getting exercise is good for you. But most people's minds will reject the idea of going to the gym within a week of starting for a number of reasons; it stops being "fun" because it is a routine, it "hurts" the first few weeks you do it, it takes "time" out of your busy schedule, and it keeps you from doing something else your body or mind enjoyed doing before. Maybe it was laying on the couch after work. Maybe it was going straight to your local bar after work to have a few drinks during happy hour. Whatever it was, you will never miss it more than when you try to "change." Yet that is exactly when you have to will your way through it. When your mind and body tell you no, you have to be the grown up and tell them you're the boss and you're going to do it anyway. You have to push through those first 30 days until your new routine is accepted by your mind and body. Then, you have to do some maintenance. Triggers will happen all the time and while they get easier to spot and control over time, it takes some work to control your reactions to them.
Using the smoking example I used earlier, if you put yourself in a smoky bar around friends and libations, is it going to be harder for your to say no? You better believe it. So I hate to say it but if you want to change, you have to CHANGE everything to support your goals. You have to steer clear of those things which trigger your instinct for your negative behavior. You don't want to eat sweets? Don't go to the donut shop. You don't want to drink? Don't go to the bar. You don't want to lay on the couch? Go straight to the gym before you go home because we all know, once you're sitting on the couch, you ain't gettin' back up to go to the gym. It's all about conscious decisions. All "work." All "action." That is why practically every New Years Resolution will fail.
In conclusion we go back to the photo. Again, we don't know why the monks are standing by the rapids. I don't know why you want to change some behavior of yours via a New Years Resolution. What I do know is those monks only have two choices, turn around and go back, or take action and figure a way across it. It is far easier to turn around, but if where you want to get to is the other side, then you have to brave the turbulence for awhile. What lies ahead is where you want to be.
Wishing you the best year of your lives in every possible way my friends. Thank you for your incredible support and especially the love so many of you show me every single day.
As you can tell, it is a photo of a group of monks reaching the shores of a beautiful set of rapids/waterfalls. From the photo itself, we don't know why they are there, but we know they are there. So really the only logical next question is what are they going to do next? We'll get to that.
Today marks the end of this calendar year. For some of us it has been an incredible year full of new opportunities, health, great successes, maybe even new love. For some of us, 2013 was a terrible year full of pain and sorrow. For even others, it was a pretty unimpressive and rather forgetful year.
With that set of varied experiences and as we move forward into the new year, many people make it a point to declare New Years Resolutions. Of course the argument by many through personal experience or observation is, practically all New Years Resolutions fail. There are a few exceptions in there but for the most part, they fail.
Why is it so hard to keep New Years Resolutions? My opinion is you begin with the premise that you are going to change "you." That is an automatic step towards failure. Let's be honest, you are who you are. Good, bad, or indifferent, you are the product of all your previous actions, all your previous thoughts, and all your previous experiences. You are exactly where you put yourself in life. Exactly where you put yourself. So if you are going to give up smoking to "be" a better person, your entire being is going to reject that notion even if it is a healthy choice. Your brain is subconsciously all about protecting you, even from yourself. So if you change what it considers a "good thing" you better believe it is going to find ways to sabotage your goal. You can pretty much use that analogy for any resolution. As long as you go in trying to "change" you, you're destined to fail.
In my humble opinion, a change in the person comes as a by-product of the actions they take. You have to add positive experiences and thoughts to your library of other experiences and thoughts. You have to prove to your subconscious that the change you are working towards is indeed a good thing for it. Then and only then will your body and mind truly welcome the idea of changing you for what you consider the better.
I guess what I'm trying to say is if you really want a positive habit to replace a negative habit then you have to act in such a way to force yourself to follow the positive habit against all odds long enough for your mind and body to accept it.
This is exactly why gyms are full on the 1st of January but back to the select few who go year-round by the start of February. Everyone knows getting exercise is good for you. But most people's minds will reject the idea of going to the gym within a week of starting for a number of reasons; it stops being "fun" because it is a routine, it "hurts" the first few weeks you do it, it takes "time" out of your busy schedule, and it keeps you from doing something else your body or mind enjoyed doing before. Maybe it was laying on the couch after work. Maybe it was going straight to your local bar after work to have a few drinks during happy hour. Whatever it was, you will never miss it more than when you try to "change." Yet that is exactly when you have to will your way through it. When your mind and body tell you no, you have to be the grown up and tell them you're the boss and you're going to do it anyway. You have to push through those first 30 days until your new routine is accepted by your mind and body. Then, you have to do some maintenance. Triggers will happen all the time and while they get easier to spot and control over time, it takes some work to control your reactions to them.
Using the smoking example I used earlier, if you put yourself in a smoky bar around friends and libations, is it going to be harder for your to say no? You better believe it. So I hate to say it but if you want to change, you have to CHANGE everything to support your goals. You have to steer clear of those things which trigger your instinct for your negative behavior. You don't want to eat sweets? Don't go to the donut shop. You don't want to drink? Don't go to the bar. You don't want to lay on the couch? Go straight to the gym before you go home because we all know, once you're sitting on the couch, you ain't gettin' back up to go to the gym. It's all about conscious decisions. All "work." All "action." That is why practically every New Years Resolution will fail.
In conclusion we go back to the photo. Again, we don't know why the monks are standing by the rapids. I don't know why you want to change some behavior of yours via a New Years Resolution. What I do know is those monks only have two choices, turn around and go back, or take action and figure a way across it. It is far easier to turn around, but if where you want to get to is the other side, then you have to brave the turbulence for awhile. What lies ahead is where you want to be.
Wishing you the best year of your lives in every possible way my friends. Thank you for your incredible support and especially the love so many of you show me every single day.
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