Success Starts Here!

It's that time again, the New Years Resolutions blog post, JV style. This year I decided my long diatribe about setting goals would look far too similar to last year's diatribe. So instead, I'm getting right to the point. Here are some practical tips to help you reach a few of the more common goals we tend to make as our resolutions. 1. "I want to workout and lose weight."  Go see a doctor and get a full check-up first. Talk to him or her about your desire to lose weight and get their approval before beginning any significant workout program, especially if you haven't exercised in a long time. Discuss attainable goals and a practical timeline. If it took you 20 years to gain the weight, you are not going to look like a fitness model in the first month of your weightloss and fitness experience. Sorry, there's no magic pill and any infomercial that promises you 6 minute abs is lying. Buy one of those month-by-month calendars and plan your workouts ahead o

1988 proved to be a beautiful summer in New England. I had just turned 18, graduated high school and the world was my oyster. I felt young and free and full of potential. My cousin was visiting from Puerto Rico as many of my family members did during summer. I wanted to impress him so we drove from the small city I grew up in to Boston. You gotta take family to Boston when they visit. So we spent the day taking in the sites. On our way home I was driving across a well-known bridge called the Tobin Bridge when I saw police lights behind me. My heart sunk. I was anxious. I had grown up terrified of the police. Where I lived, the police only came into my neighborhood when they were looking for someone to arrest. There were never any conversations, no small talk, no recognition. It was always like a military assault when they showed up. If you were a kid you were taught to stay out of their way in hopes of not being arrested or worse. So on this particular day, I put on a brave face for

Ah, the lyrics of "Defence of Fort M'henry" and that timeless melody of "Anacreon in Heaven" came together on this day 200 years ago to create the song which would become our national anthem, the Star Spangled Banner. For as much as I love Christmas songs, there is one song which I treasure above all others. I have sung along to it countless times as I gazed upon and saluted my beautiful Stars and Stripes. It has accompanied the Flag of the United States as I celebrated with military friends getting promoted, while others changed command, and most significant to me when I said goodbye; whether they were retiring from service or draping the coffin of a buddy who had paid the ultimate price for our freedom. Few people have ever sung the whole thing. You may not know the song has 5 stanzas; the part we sing is just the first. Another thing you may not know is the first stanza, our recognized "National Anthem" ends in a question mark. It's closing

Of all the things I remember from my childhood, many of the significant ones come from senior year of high school. It was the year that marked "adult-eve;" that time right before we became fully responsible for ourselves. It was the end of the norms we developed as kindergartners; where going to school became our job. I remember my first day of senior year of high school. I had plans, big plans. I had just come off a great summer. Richard Marx, Michael Jackson, and Cheap Trick had all had huge hits that summer. Guns N' Roses and LL Cool J were blaring regularly on my cassette player in my $400, 1980 rustbucket Toyota Tercel. Life was good. I knew I had to successfully negotiate the schoolyear but my thoughts (like all my classmates) were on what came after the schoolyear ended. This would be the last year I would spend around the group of people I considered my extended family. I would end this year shuffling up to a stage while pomp-and-circumstance played in the back

Many of my friends know I am a firm believer in living a happy, positive, productive life. Years ago I made a sincere and life-changing decision to live a "Happy" life. That isn't easy, especially in an era where negativity permeates almost every area of our day-to-day lives. Today I witnessed an all too common ugly exchange in the "comments," below what I thought to be a genuinely generic post. We've all seen it. Chances are at one point or another we've even been sucked into one of those incredibly vile interactions. I don't know about you, but have you ever been in one of those conversations and even if you're right, have you ever seriously walked away with your hands in the air in victory feeling great about yourself? I haven't. I've actually come to the conclusion the smartest thing I can do in any of those situations is to stay AWAY. Do you remember when Facebook first started? It was a fun place to connect and interact with peop

I met a man this week who asked me a simple question. Upon our introduction, he asked me what I did. Of course I knew his question referred to what my career was. I find it interesting that in Western culture, when we meet someone, our first question is very regularly "and what do you do?" In this part of the world, we are defined by how we make a living. In many respects it dictates our social circles, our activities, sometimes even our actual identity. Of course some jobs are in many ways lifestyles. For example, a doctor is a doctor 24 hours a day. If he's in a restaurant and someone is choking to death, he surely can't (or at least shouldn't) say "well I'm off duty so it isn't my problem." More than likely, the doctor would jump out of his chair and try to save the person. Similarly, other professions don't stop when you clock out for the day. But I think in the western world we tend to use our professions as an excuse to not develop ou

Hey brother, been thinking about you this weekend. Yeah yeah, whatever man. I know I'm Mr. Sentimental. But you know it is Memorial Day. The last few days I've seen some photos and posts that would make you laugh a little. I always loved how you never took yourself too seriously. Hell, we both acted more like high school sophomores than grown adults. But you had a wisdom in your youth. I remember you watching some irate politician on TV talking about how this was a "somber" weekend and how we should all just sit around and think of our dead and you told me "If I die Jose, you better enjoy every damn day you have off for the both of us. None of this crying and feeling sad shit." I remember you thought it was ridiculous that our American citizens should not enjoy the blanket of freedom paid for by our war dead. To be honest, I don't think you cared if any of them knew who you were. You weren't in this to be "honored." You were in this to ho

I am so blessed to share my life with an incredible group of close friends and family as well as supportive colleagues and even positive acquaintances. Most of the people I associate with I not only care about but admire. Some of them I even consider "great." They may not consider themselves that way, but per my definition of greatness they are truly legendary. I find the people I have the most respect for are those who have had to fight for their lot in life; people who've had life sucker punch them to their knees and yet somehow they mustered up the courage to get back up as if saying "is that all you've got?" I've got friends like my cousin Carmen, who as a teenage mother decided she would take responsibility for herself and become the kind of woman and mother worthy of respect. Not only is she a college graduate today, but a loving mother and wife, and successful businesswoman. She is active in her church and community supporting those who are whe

The last few weeks have been tough on our human family. The anguish and pain we see on television from the families of those seemingly lost on Malaysia Flight 370 is difficult if not impossible for most of us to truly comprehend. It is one of those global tragedies which seems to strike a chord with so many of us. As I write this, the first possible pieces of materials are being pulled out of the ocean for testing. I am cautiously optimistic it is material from the plane, and hopeful if nothing else it brings closure to the families of those involved so the healing can begin. A friend of mine and I were talking about the tragedy the other day and what if anything we can take out of this terrible story. For me, there is only one thing which keeps resonating; the fact we truly do not know the days, hours, and minutes of our lives. It is so easy to assume as we head out the door for work or school that we will indeed see our loved ones that evening upon our return. It is human nature to

America is addicted to rage. It snorts it, injects it, smokes it, and screams it to the top of its lungs. Pick a topic, pick a photo, pick an event, it really doesn't matter. Someone will be either offended or angry about it, and they're going to let us all know about it. Nowhere is that more prevalent these days than on my Facebook feed. What was until a few years ago a fun stream of interesting things my friends and family were doing has turned into a lava-flow of viciousness. I used to look forward to pictures of my friends' kids and their little accomplishments at school or in sport or in community or their faith based organizations. I'd cheer people on who shared they were going to quit smoking and celebrate those who took a photo after losing 20lbs. My kids were on Facebook. They were there, their friends were there, after all Facebook wasn't initially created for us adults, but for them. Yet over time, as adults began to turn the conversation sour, kids di