Facebook Dump- The Day After
Well about 24 hours ago, in a moment of holistic goodness (I might have been eating granola at the time), I decided I was going to deactivate my Facebook account. Not permanently, but for some unspecified time which I called "the summer". I didn't lock myself down to actual dates just in case this would be harder than I expected but I mean come on, it’s just a stupid website. There are a million other websites and social environments online. I wouldn't even notice it was gone.
Fast forward till 7pm last night. There I am, staring at a blank Google search engine page, feeling a little sick to my stomach and confused as to what to do. Hours earlier I had said my goodbyes to my close friends on Facebook who saw me off with words of encouragement reminiscent of eulogies as I disappeared into the internet sunset like a cowboy disappears into the western plain. Now, I was a free man. Mark Zuckerburg could no longer control me. I was free to roam the internet as I pleased. Yet there I was, lost, staring at a blank search enging page.
I got a little upset this was affecting me so, so I dashed off to Youtube. I spent about an hour and a half watching "Epic Fails" and TV News bloopers videos. And then I got bored. Yeah Youtube is a "social" site by the fact anyone can post and you can even msg each other somewhat, but unless you're a 12 year old girl who lip-syncs Nicki Minaj or Katy Perry songs in your short shorts and tight t-shirt, there aren't too many people interested in a conversation. Of course, if you are that 12 year old, you have 10,000 subscribers who all tell you how amazing you are but don't tell you they're 40 and 50 year old pervs. It all felt a little gross to me so I left.
I went off to Myspace, ah Myspace, the grand-daddy of them all. I was sure I'd find love and support there. I had once been the king of the Myspace realm. I had a kick-ass page, lots of "friends", people leaving me comments, music, graphics, I even had a badass New England Patriots Layout theme. So I knew that is where I would find my "people". But strangely enough, they were all gone. All that was left were those questionably impposibly hot chics whose profiles all say "I'm just a party girl at heart and am looking to meet men who like to do the same...call me at 1-900....wtf? Mypsace became an escort service? So I left Myspace a little stunned.
I screwed around on Twitter for a little bit but Twitter and I have never really been close and ultimately I read all the news that's fit to be printed on the CNN page and watch a show on my Netflix account.
Then, having run out of "anything" to do online, I sat my ass down in front of the TV with a big bowl of Cocoa Crispies and moped the night away wondering what all my friends were talking about on Facebook while I waddled in self loathing watching reruns of Law and Order.
Last night as I went to bed, I was still in shock and going through withdrawals. Still trying to remember what it is I did online before Facebook and drawing a big ole blank. But you will not break me Mark Zuckerburg. You might have quietly lulled us into your lullaby, your hypnotic mermaid song and left us with no seeming ability to exist without you, but I will find a way. I will remember what I used the internet for before FB if it's the last thing I do. I will free myself from your bond. Then once I have, I will hypocritically reactivate my account and live happily ever after in your omnipresent radiance; you genius little jerk.
Fast forward till 7pm last night. There I am, staring at a blank Google search engine page, feeling a little sick to my stomach and confused as to what to do. Hours earlier I had said my goodbyes to my close friends on Facebook who saw me off with words of encouragement reminiscent of eulogies as I disappeared into the internet sunset like a cowboy disappears into the western plain. Now, I was a free man. Mark Zuckerburg could no longer control me. I was free to roam the internet as I pleased. Yet there I was, lost, staring at a blank search enging page.
I got a little upset this was affecting me so, so I dashed off to Youtube. I spent about an hour and a half watching "Epic Fails" and TV News bloopers videos. And then I got bored. Yeah Youtube is a "social" site by the fact anyone can post and you can even msg each other somewhat, but unless you're a 12 year old girl who lip-syncs Nicki Minaj or Katy Perry songs in your short shorts and tight t-shirt, there aren't too many people interested in a conversation. Of course, if you are that 12 year old, you have 10,000 subscribers who all tell you how amazing you are but don't tell you they're 40 and 50 year old pervs. It all felt a little gross to me so I left.
I went off to Myspace, ah Myspace, the grand-daddy of them all. I was sure I'd find love and support there. I had once been the king of the Myspace realm. I had a kick-ass page, lots of "friends", people leaving me comments, music, graphics, I even had a badass New England Patriots Layout theme. So I knew that is where I would find my "people". But strangely enough, they were all gone. All that was left were those questionably impposibly hot chics whose profiles all say "I'm just a party girl at heart and am looking to meet men who like to do the same...call me at 1-900....wtf? Mypsace became an escort service? So I left Myspace a little stunned.
I screwed around on Twitter for a little bit but Twitter and I have never really been close and ultimately I read all the news that's fit to be printed on the CNN page and watch a show on my Netflix account.
Then, having run out of "anything" to do online, I sat my ass down in front of the TV with a big bowl of Cocoa Crispies and moped the night away wondering what all my friends were talking about on Facebook while I waddled in self loathing watching reruns of Law and Order.
Last night as I went to bed, I was still in shock and going through withdrawals. Still trying to remember what it is I did online before Facebook and drawing a big ole blank. But you will not break me Mark Zuckerburg. You might have quietly lulled us into your lullaby, your hypnotic mermaid song and left us with no seeming ability to exist without you, but I will find a way. I will remember what I used the internet for before FB if it's the last thing I do. I will free myself from your bond. Then once I have, I will hypocritically reactivate my account and live happily ever after in your omnipresent radiance; you genius little jerk.
Wow - Rough night for the techy that just cut the power to his social house.
ReplyDeleteLet's see here I'll give you a view from a plugged in but not tied down viewpoint.
After working til about 6:30pm (not early-not late) I was called away from happily orchestrating greatness from my supreme poobah operational control site - otherwise known as my desk by phone calls(mulitple) indicating it was time to hit the auto pilot button and come outside to the 'real world'. To answer these summons required a frantic dash to catch up with people who seemed to be able to disengage hours earlier and who now were tapping their feet and looking at their watches about when I'd show up to participate.
After a sprint to the house to hit the wardrobe reset button it was off to the stables to link up with friends, tell stories, exercise horses and feed carrots. Since it was a rushed night I was home from that by 8:30pm.
As the weekend social schedule has a 14 hour straight drive to Indiana on it for today after work to attend the wedding of two close friends and to pick up two more of my horses for a return on Sunday so they can have a hiatus in NC that meant the rest of last night was dedicated to preping the pile to be packed in the truck today, doing this past week's laundry and covering 'the plan' with my dearly beloved.
Then all of the sudden it was 10:30 pm and still no dinner- which as usual got skipped. This is not abnormal behavior or activity level for any given day. Life will fill your fishbowl suddenly and completely whenever you adjust priorities and create time.
If somehow you cannot fill your time I would love to borrow some if you could figure out how to do that as I have a couple other projects waiting in the wings to be attended to...like re-siding and painting the house, two horses to train under saddle, some long overdue thank you notes to write and a couple grad school fellowship/scholarship applications to write ;>
I bet hanging out on Facebook looks like the better option already !! Beware what you are inviting into your life with all this new found 'free' time ;> VB
LoL it's all good Jose, Life is what you make it, Be happy with what you are doing I don't think Facebook is going anywhere, am sure you won't miss seeing people post drama up on the screen, Like I said before I watch drama on TV I don't need it in my Life :)
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