Haterade, I Rebuke Thee!
Remember that one time when you had a goal and every single person in your life stood behind you and then you succeeded and everyone was happy for you? Chances are, if you're alive, you've probably never fully experienced this. Not fully. And if you have, you are one incredibly lucky person.
Unfortunately, in real life some people are going to root for you to fail. I'd like to tell you I understood all the psychological reasons why but I am not expert. All I know is for whatever reasons, many very complicated, there are always people who will wish for you to fail.
This is even more prominent in this era of social media because let's face it, far too many of us share way too much with people who should have zero say in our lives and the choices we make.
I consider myself an incredibly positive person. I "choose" to be positive and happy and for anyone who has followed my blog for any amount of time, hopefully I have expressed that opinion many times before. Yet no matter how positive or happy I choose to be, make no mistake, even I am not immune to the negative emotions and ill will of some. Heck, I may be even more susceptible in some cases because I publicly proclaim the positive lifestyle I live.
For those of you who have big goals, are planning big things, or just don't want the drama that comes from the negative people in your life I wanted to share a couple of ideas with you which have worked well for me.
First I will tell you that before you start permanently cutting people off from your life you should really consider whether it is worth it or not. Permanent choices come with permanent consequences and there are many less-disruptive ways to limit the negativity those people who are permanent members of your friends and family group bring to your life. There are some people you should consider cutting out of your lives permanently but I suspect those people will probably be pretty easy to pick out amongst the rest.
If you are dealing with negative people in the real world it can be tough, and more times than not, some of those people are lifelong friends or even more prickly, family. I will tell you the least disruptive thing to do is to subtly distance yourself from them as best you can. You don't have to disappear fully from their lives, just enough to where their day to day negativity doesn't cut into your goals or life choices. Negative people like to be around other negative people so most of them won't chase you into positivity. And if they do, maybe you have inspired them to think differently. A win-win. Just understand your job isn't to change their minds or their lives.
As far as the world of the Interwebs (the internet), it is far easier to rid yourself of people. Especially on social media sites that allow you to "hide" people. Again, I caution you about completely deleting people from your lives, especially people with whom you will at some point have to interact with again in the real world. Not saying you shouldn't and some people warrant it, but I submit using the tools Facebook gives you to basically make people disappear from your social circle without deleting them permanently are a great option. I have definitely "hidden" many of my buddies who are some of THE most negative or extreme people ever! I don't miss their banter but I recognize that at some point in my life, I have had a positive experience with them and may have again someday so I just hide their comments. For additional evidence about hiding versus deleting, I remind myself I too have fallen short of being reasonable at times and have made stupid choices in the way I express myself at one point or another. Maybe someone has deleted me for it and sadly I probably won't get a chance to make amends or show them that I am not that person with extreme or inconsiderate views. I invite you to consider your own social media merits before fully deleting others. Again, like in real life, some people deserve disappearing from your life permanently and those will be pretty obvious.
Finally the best thing you can do to deal with the haters and the negative types, is to associate yourself with people who love and support you. People who aren't intimidated by your success and who are willing to lend positivity to your life. Find people who enrich your existence. Those are the ones with whom life's journey is worth sharing. I am so lucky and thankful for the family and friends I've got who make my journey so incredibly special with their humor, their positivity and support.
I hope this was helpful and I know there are many other ways to deal with the haterade and negativity. This is just what works for me :). I believe in you friends. Always will.
Unfortunately, in real life some people are going to root for you to fail. I'd like to tell you I understood all the psychological reasons why but I am not expert. All I know is for whatever reasons, many very complicated, there are always people who will wish for you to fail.
This is even more prominent in this era of social media because let's face it, far too many of us share way too much with people who should have zero say in our lives and the choices we make.
I consider myself an incredibly positive person. I "choose" to be positive and happy and for anyone who has followed my blog for any amount of time, hopefully I have expressed that opinion many times before. Yet no matter how positive or happy I choose to be, make no mistake, even I am not immune to the negative emotions and ill will of some. Heck, I may be even more susceptible in some cases because I publicly proclaim the positive lifestyle I live.
For those of you who have big goals, are planning big things, or just don't want the drama that comes from the negative people in your life I wanted to share a couple of ideas with you which have worked well for me.
First I will tell you that before you start permanently cutting people off from your life you should really consider whether it is worth it or not. Permanent choices come with permanent consequences and there are many less-disruptive ways to limit the negativity those people who are permanent members of your friends and family group bring to your life. There are some people you should consider cutting out of your lives permanently but I suspect those people will probably be pretty easy to pick out amongst the rest.
If you are dealing with negative people in the real world it can be tough, and more times than not, some of those people are lifelong friends or even more prickly, family. I will tell you the least disruptive thing to do is to subtly distance yourself from them as best you can. You don't have to disappear fully from their lives, just enough to where their day to day negativity doesn't cut into your goals or life choices. Negative people like to be around other negative people so most of them won't chase you into positivity. And if they do, maybe you have inspired them to think differently. A win-win. Just understand your job isn't to change their minds or their lives.
As far as the world of the Interwebs (the internet), it is far easier to rid yourself of people. Especially on social media sites that allow you to "hide" people. Again, I caution you about completely deleting people from your lives, especially people with whom you will at some point have to interact with again in the real world. Not saying you shouldn't and some people warrant it, but I submit using the tools Facebook gives you to basically make people disappear from your social circle without deleting them permanently are a great option. I have definitely "hidden" many of my buddies who are some of THE most negative or extreme people ever! I don't miss their banter but I recognize that at some point in my life, I have had a positive experience with them and may have again someday so I just hide their comments. For additional evidence about hiding versus deleting, I remind myself I too have fallen short of being reasonable at times and have made stupid choices in the way I express myself at one point or another. Maybe someone has deleted me for it and sadly I probably won't get a chance to make amends or show them that I am not that person with extreme or inconsiderate views. I invite you to consider your own social media merits before fully deleting others. Again, like in real life, some people deserve disappearing from your life permanently and those will be pretty obvious.
Finally the best thing you can do to deal with the haters and the negative types, is to associate yourself with people who love and support you. People who aren't intimidated by your success and who are willing to lend positivity to your life. Find people who enrich your existence. Those are the ones with whom life's journey is worth sharing. I am so lucky and thankful for the family and friends I've got who make my journey so incredibly special with their humor, their positivity and support.
I hope this was helpful and I know there are many other ways to deal with the haterade and negativity. This is just what works for me :). I believe in you friends. Always will.
Comments
Post a Comment