How Do We Go Onto The Holidays After Sandy Hook?
This week's Sandy Hook Elementary tragedy struck pain, despair, and deep sadness in a significant majority of us here in America, and many people around the world. The senseless acts of violence of a seemingly deranged man seem impossible for our brains to comprehend, or for our hearts to understand. So here we are, just days from what is supposed to be the most festive day of the year in the most festive time of the year and some of us are lost. How can we allow ourselves to feel joy after such a tragedy? How can we enjoy the holidays knowing those children's and faculty members' families cannot? Are we evil or bad people if we "go on?"
As many of you may know, I am in the military and have been for a really long time. Over the last 11 years I, along with many of my brothers and sisters in arms, have regularly been at the emotional breaking point over the loss of friends, colleagues, even family members who have sacrificed their lives for our country. After each and every loss I think many of us asked ourselves those very questions which ultimately led to "do we go on?" For many of us, the answer was simply we "must" go on. We must go on because not to would be the worst thing we could do for them.
Maybe we just made this coping mechanism up out of anguish in some moment of frailty. Maybe there was a far smarter leader than I who figured this out, but we move on (notice I didn't say forget) in honor of those who cannot. It is how we make sense of things and how we value the loss of the lives we mourn. We vow to be better versions of ourselves, to make more out of our lives, to be better people and love our family and friends a little more precisely because "they" can't. We choose to live "for" those who cannot live for themselves any longer. It is how we honor them.
You may disagree. You may have a better coping mechanism than I. All I know is this is how I make sense of things and I wanted to share it with you just in case you were lost and looking.
Ultimately, there is only one truth left in Sandy Hook; 20 students and six adults are gone. We do not have the power to bring them back. We do though have the power to move forward with a renewed purpose, with a renewed resolve to love our fellow man and woman, to not miss those little moments we have with our children. To "be" in the moment (which so few of us are) and truly appreciate every breath we breathe. To not allow ourselves to forget this tragedy as our 24/7 news cycle moves on from this story to the next celebrity faux pas. If we do these things, we will do far more in honoring the lives of these individuals than if we simply sit around moping this holiday season.
I for one, will hug my kids a little longer, hold my wife a little tighter, let my friends and family know just how very much I love them, spend a little more time on things that "matter" this holiday season, versus focusing so much on the material aspects, and vow to hold their memory dear and their families in love and prayer. That is how I will honor the Sandy Hook Elementary victims.
As many of you may know, I am in the military and have been for a really long time. Over the last 11 years I, along with many of my brothers and sisters in arms, have regularly been at the emotional breaking point over the loss of friends, colleagues, even family members who have sacrificed their lives for our country. After each and every loss I think many of us asked ourselves those very questions which ultimately led to "do we go on?" For many of us, the answer was simply we "must" go on. We must go on because not to would be the worst thing we could do for them.
Maybe we just made this coping mechanism up out of anguish in some moment of frailty. Maybe there was a far smarter leader than I who figured this out, but we move on (notice I didn't say forget) in honor of those who cannot. It is how we make sense of things and how we value the loss of the lives we mourn. We vow to be better versions of ourselves, to make more out of our lives, to be better people and love our family and friends a little more precisely because "they" can't. We choose to live "for" those who cannot live for themselves any longer. It is how we honor them.
You may disagree. You may have a better coping mechanism than I. All I know is this is how I make sense of things and I wanted to share it with you just in case you were lost and looking.
Ultimately, there is only one truth left in Sandy Hook; 20 students and six adults are gone. We do not have the power to bring them back. We do though have the power to move forward with a renewed purpose, with a renewed resolve to love our fellow man and woman, to not miss those little moments we have with our children. To "be" in the moment (which so few of us are) and truly appreciate every breath we breathe. To not allow ourselves to forget this tragedy as our 24/7 news cycle moves on from this story to the next celebrity faux pas. If we do these things, we will do far more in honoring the lives of these individuals than if we simply sit around moping this holiday season.
I for one, will hug my kids a little longer, hold my wife a little tighter, let my friends and family know just how very much I love them, spend a little more time on things that "matter" this holiday season, versus focusing so much on the material aspects, and vow to hold their memory dear and their families in love and prayer. That is how I will honor the Sandy Hook Elementary victims.
I agree that "We choose to live 'for' those who cannot live for themselves any longer. It is how we honor them." Very well said. It's times like these tragedies, for a brief moment, stop taking for granted all that is around me; seeing the trees and sky, feeling the breeze, hearing people fellowship with each and the pleasant smell of, yes, Burger King. It may sound silly, but it seems to bring me back to battlesight zero and let me reset my priorities.
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