Just Jen
Yesterday morning I was having my first cup of coffee and going through the routine I've set for myself while on leave. I read the news, checked my Facebook, and lastly did the same with my Twitter account. I always leave the Twitter account for last because it moves so much faster than any other form of social media I use.
Before I go on, and for those of you who may not know, I'd like to explain how someone's "Tweet" as they call them, ends up on your timeline (or wall as it would be called on FB). The first group of people is easy, those people you are following. The second group is not so easy. Complicated algorithms pair up people who are talking about certain subjects, follow certain people, have certain likes, until seemingly random strangers' messages show up on your timeline. The messages move a mile a minute so anything you're looking at is gone within seconds sometimes. More times than not, you ignore them. Yesterday was not one of those times.
The post which was at the top of my list was from someone named JustJen. There was a picture of someone's feet, so I didn't have anything to go on, nor should this have been interesting. Yet, it awoke a certain memory I had which was 25 years old.
In the summer of 1987, I went to a camp in New Hampshire. It was mostly for children from well-to-do families around the world, but there were a few scholarships available for a few token inner-city kids and somehow I got one. I lived about an hour away in Massachusetts so it was no big deal. I had a wonderful time and learned we kids were pretty much all alike, regardless of where we came from.
The day the camp was over, most of the kids got on buses and drove to Logan Airport in Boston to fly home.
This is where it gets interesting. Back to JustJen. I saw her name and sent her a message asking "Are you the JustJen who went to a camp in NH in the mid-80s? She responded quite surprised by saying "Yes, actually I did. Who is this?" I asked "Did you miss your flight and had no money for a hotel and called the only local kid you knew and stayed at his house for the night till you could catch another flight the next day?" She was really freaked out at this point and said "How could you know that?" So of course I said "I'm that kid!"
Well we connected, we talked about the astronomical chances of this random meeting. We reminisced a little, told each other about our lives and what we had accomplished with them thus far, we talked about our families, and we did something too few people do. Wished each other great happiness and success in the future and walked away with a big smile at such a fun and appreciated encounter. We "followed" each other, must like I have many of my old HS, college and Army buddies "friended" on FB, but that doesn't mean we talk often. And that is ok.
These days, it is WAY too easy to circumvent the natural order of things. It is way too easy to look-up and strike up old friendships with former friends and former "others" and you know what I'm talking about. Listen, I'm not going to tell you what to do, all I'm saying is there is a reason the past is in the past. If life and circumstance genuinely got in the way of a great friendship and you and the person still have things in common and are both determined to reestablish a friendship, cool. But if one of you has moved on to other things, to include other relationships, other schools of thought, other philosophies, why screw up some great memories from yesteryear?
I personally think memories are underrated because we have this new technology which allows us to dip back into them via the web and find the people whom we created those memories with. That can be good, but it can be also be bad.
I know for me, everytime I run into someone from my past, I ensure I demonstrate how much I appreciate them and their place in my life, I enjoy listening to where they are today, respect whatever their thoughts and beliefs are for what they are right now, and then determine whether this is someone who should be in my current life, or if maybe their presence is best left a wonderful memory. I don't always get it right, but I try to follow this school of thought.
Let's bring memories back into vogue, especially if someone's current life and/ or lifestyle, thoughts, or beliefs will harm those memories we cherish about them. Let's recognize sometimes the best place for someone we shared a season of our lives with, is the season we shared. And for those whom we bring back into our lives, let us recognize they aren't the people we remember. They've had experiences which have shaped them since those old memories were created. So if you are going to revamp an old friendship, please make sure you open your heart to the person they are and not to the person they were. Or else you will both be sorely disappointed.
The internet is a wonderful thing. It gives us an opportunity to move backwards into our lives' "timelines" in ways we never could just years ago. It is also a tempting technology which makes us think we can time travel back and forth. That's not reality. Right now, you are the sum of all your experiences to this exact point. This is who you are. Live in the present. Its the only place life should be lived.
Before I go on, and for those of you who may not know, I'd like to explain how someone's "Tweet" as they call them, ends up on your timeline (or wall as it would be called on FB). The first group of people is easy, those people you are following. The second group is not so easy. Complicated algorithms pair up people who are talking about certain subjects, follow certain people, have certain likes, until seemingly random strangers' messages show up on your timeline. The messages move a mile a minute so anything you're looking at is gone within seconds sometimes. More times than not, you ignore them. Yesterday was not one of those times.
The post which was at the top of my list was from someone named JustJen. There was a picture of someone's feet, so I didn't have anything to go on, nor should this have been interesting. Yet, it awoke a certain memory I had which was 25 years old.
In the summer of 1987, I went to a camp in New Hampshire. It was mostly for children from well-to-do families around the world, but there were a few scholarships available for a few token inner-city kids and somehow I got one. I lived about an hour away in Massachusetts so it was no big deal. I had a wonderful time and learned we kids were pretty much all alike, regardless of where we came from.
The day the camp was over, most of the kids got on buses and drove to Logan Airport in Boston to fly home.
This is where it gets interesting. Back to JustJen. I saw her name and sent her a message asking "Are you the JustJen who went to a camp in NH in the mid-80s? She responded quite surprised by saying "Yes, actually I did. Who is this?" I asked "Did you miss your flight and had no money for a hotel and called the only local kid you knew and stayed at his house for the night till you could catch another flight the next day?" She was really freaked out at this point and said "How could you know that?" So of course I said "I'm that kid!"
Well we connected, we talked about the astronomical chances of this random meeting. We reminisced a little, told each other about our lives and what we had accomplished with them thus far, we talked about our families, and we did something too few people do. Wished each other great happiness and success in the future and walked away with a big smile at such a fun and appreciated encounter. We "followed" each other, must like I have many of my old HS, college and Army buddies "friended" on FB, but that doesn't mean we talk often. And that is ok.
These days, it is WAY too easy to circumvent the natural order of things. It is way too easy to look-up and strike up old friendships with former friends and former "others" and you know what I'm talking about. Listen, I'm not going to tell you what to do, all I'm saying is there is a reason the past is in the past. If life and circumstance genuinely got in the way of a great friendship and you and the person still have things in common and are both determined to reestablish a friendship, cool. But if one of you has moved on to other things, to include other relationships, other schools of thought, other philosophies, why screw up some great memories from yesteryear?
I personally think memories are underrated because we have this new technology which allows us to dip back into them via the web and find the people whom we created those memories with. That can be good, but it can be also be bad.
I know for me, everytime I run into someone from my past, I ensure I demonstrate how much I appreciate them and their place in my life, I enjoy listening to where they are today, respect whatever their thoughts and beliefs are for what they are right now, and then determine whether this is someone who should be in my current life, or if maybe their presence is best left a wonderful memory. I don't always get it right, but I try to follow this school of thought.
Let's bring memories back into vogue, especially if someone's current life and/ or lifestyle, thoughts, or beliefs will harm those memories we cherish about them. Let's recognize sometimes the best place for someone we shared a season of our lives with, is the season we shared. And for those whom we bring back into our lives, let us recognize they aren't the people we remember. They've had experiences which have shaped them since those old memories were created. So if you are going to revamp an old friendship, please make sure you open your heart to the person they are and not to the person they were. Or else you will both be sorely disappointed.
The internet is a wonderful thing. It gives us an opportunity to move backwards into our lives' "timelines" in ways we never could just years ago. It is also a tempting technology which makes us think we can time travel back and forth. That's not reality. Right now, you are the sum of all your experiences to this exact point. This is who you are. Live in the present. Its the only place life should be lived.
Comments
Post a Comment