The Search Continues
I was looking across all the posts I've written over the last three years. I've written (or rambled) about a whole host of issues, mostly about the search for betterment in every conceivable area of our human existence. I've given advice on how to get a better job, how to make more money, how to quit destructive habits, how to lose weight etc etc. Yet there is one post that by far has the most viewers. I could literally not write for weeks or months and one of my posts gets looked at by at least someone on the internet every single day since I wrote it over a year ago. My post titled "How To Keep Her From Cheating." (http://jvsport2006.blogspot.com/2011/04/how-to-keep-her-from-cheating.html
My first notion when I noticed that was "damn, guys are terrified of losing their women out there in record numbers!" Yet, as I sat back and pondered for awhile, and after looking across the internet at similar posts written by female writers about how to keep their men from cheating or leaving, I came to the conclusion this had nothing to do with cheating. This statistic had to do with holding onto the thing we all want most in life, even those of us who swear up and down we don't; a deep human connection. It had to do with the fear of losing that, because at the end of the day, we can have all the money in the world, all the toys, the cars, the clothes, dare I say all the shoes (ok some ladies out there might disagree with the shoes), but nothing is more important than our desire to connect with someone in a deep and special way. Nothing is more terrifying than losing that greatest of all treasures.
The search for a special someone tends to be a lifelong venture. It only stops when we finally meet the "right" person. Unfortunately, we are so good at "searching" that sometimes, even after we've met and are in a relationship with the right person, we continue to search for that "something" not noticing it is right there in front of us, and all too often, recognizing it only after we have sabotaged the relationship we spent so much time searching for in the first place. So I totally understand the desperation people have out there with keeping what they've got.
You know, getting older has very few good points about it. I'm not as fast or as strong as I once was. I'm sure as heck not as good looking (this is me presuming I once was a looker). Yet the great equalizer in getting older is the wisdom we gain. I've learned to enjoy the little things and to value the relationships I've built. My friendships are deeper, my love for my extended family is greater, and I have never been closer than now to my wife and children. For the first time in my life, I am enjoying and appreciating the "found" and not the "search" and I wish that for every single one of you. I especially hope you figure it out earlier than I did for sure.
Listen, you know you can't take the money with you. You can't take the vacation homes, the designer clothes, the cars, or the "clout" you soo enjoyed here on earth when your last breath has been exhaled. And yeah, you can leave all that but so what if you're leaving it to people who didn't value you in life? If you were nothing more than a checkbook to them?
There is an old saying that people don't fear death, but the thought of being forgotten. Forgotten to the point there was no trace they ever lived in the minds and hearts of men. This is why we search. This is why nothing is more important than the relationships we build with those we love.
Today is a great day to remind yourself of what is important in your life.Tell your husband or wife, boyfriend or girlfriend you love them. Call a parent or a sibling you've had a falling out with and damnit, just friggin' apologize, even if it wasn't your fault. This isn't about "winning", this is about something far more important than being right. Let a friend know how much you appreciate them. For a moment, take stock in your blessings or fortune or luck or whatever you want to call it. For a day, stop searching and just be content with the gifts you've received which matter most; the love, respect, admiration, and care, of those you love, respect, admire, and care for in return.
As always friends, I believe in you, you just have to believe in yourself.
My first notion when I noticed that was "damn, guys are terrified of losing their women out there in record numbers!" Yet, as I sat back and pondered for awhile, and after looking across the internet at similar posts written by female writers about how to keep their men from cheating or leaving, I came to the conclusion this had nothing to do with cheating. This statistic had to do with holding onto the thing we all want most in life, even those of us who swear up and down we don't; a deep human connection. It had to do with the fear of losing that, because at the end of the day, we can have all the money in the world, all the toys, the cars, the clothes, dare I say all the shoes (ok some ladies out there might disagree with the shoes), but nothing is more important than our desire to connect with someone in a deep and special way. Nothing is more terrifying than losing that greatest of all treasures.
The search for a special someone tends to be a lifelong venture. It only stops when we finally meet the "right" person. Unfortunately, we are so good at "searching" that sometimes, even after we've met and are in a relationship with the right person, we continue to search for that "something" not noticing it is right there in front of us, and all too often, recognizing it only after we have sabotaged the relationship we spent so much time searching for in the first place. So I totally understand the desperation people have out there with keeping what they've got.
You know, getting older has very few good points about it. I'm not as fast or as strong as I once was. I'm sure as heck not as good looking (this is me presuming I once was a looker). Yet the great equalizer in getting older is the wisdom we gain. I've learned to enjoy the little things and to value the relationships I've built. My friendships are deeper, my love for my extended family is greater, and I have never been closer than now to my wife and children. For the first time in my life, I am enjoying and appreciating the "found" and not the "search" and I wish that for every single one of you. I especially hope you figure it out earlier than I did for sure.
Listen, you know you can't take the money with you. You can't take the vacation homes, the designer clothes, the cars, or the "clout" you soo enjoyed here on earth when your last breath has been exhaled. And yeah, you can leave all that but so what if you're leaving it to people who didn't value you in life? If you were nothing more than a checkbook to them?
There is an old saying that people don't fear death, but the thought of being forgotten. Forgotten to the point there was no trace they ever lived in the minds and hearts of men. This is why we search. This is why nothing is more important than the relationships we build with those we love.
Today is a great day to remind yourself of what is important in your life.Tell your husband or wife, boyfriend or girlfriend you love them. Call a parent or a sibling you've had a falling out with and damnit, just friggin' apologize, even if it wasn't your fault. This isn't about "winning", this is about something far more important than being right. Let a friend know how much you appreciate them. For a moment, take stock in your blessings or fortune or luck or whatever you want to call it. For a day, stop searching and just be content with the gifts you've received which matter most; the love, respect, admiration, and care, of those you love, respect, admire, and care for in return.
As always friends, I believe in you, you just have to believe in yourself.
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