Emotional Hoarders
There has probably never been a better time in the history of mankind to be a Psychologist. We are a nation of pissed-off people!
Seriously, did you see that guy cut you off today? What's his his problem? What about the one that cut way to the front of the line coming off the interstate? What, she can't wait like everyone else? Don't you just wanna beat them up? And boy, when you get home, somebody better not cross you because you're already on edge and you're just looking for a fight. HOLY MOLY when did we get so angry about everything?
We love to hold onto emotion don't we? We've become emotional hoarders no different than the people in those TV shows with houses full of "junk". I have friends who will hold grudges for days, months, years. I know people still upset about what happened when they were a kid and they're 40 or 50 years old. Come on people!
We are not the only creatures to feel emotion. Don't believe me, mess with that dog down the street and see what happens. The difference between us and all other creatures is we have the ability to "choose" what to do with those emotions. Some days I wonder if that is all that good a thing. At least animals led by instinct simply move on once the temporary emotion passes.
Having said that, my faith in mankind and our ability to choose what to do with emotions is strong when I think of men like Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr.; men who had every emotional reason to lash out in anger, hate and violence but chose not to. People like Mother Teresa who chose to dedicate herself to living in abject poverty amongst such pain and sorrow and chose to be a beacon of light in the darkness of hopelessness.
When I thought about those historical notables, I wondered if maybe their ability to overcome their "emotional" natures was something few people have or whether it is inherent in all of us. I have to believe we all have the ability to act, to choose correctly, to manage our emotions. Its just easier not to. And we're all about "easy".
Friends, emotions are such an important factor in our human experience, but they should serve to enhance our experience on this journey of ours; not to overwhelm or destroy it. From personal experience, here are a few suggestions for how to handle all that "junk" in our noggins.
1. Let it GO: why are you still mad about something that happened 10 years ago? Anger is an incredibly destructive emotion. Long-term anger is something common within families. Listen, the truth is most of us grew up in dysfunctional families. Believe it or not, they are the norm. The perfect families you see on TV, those are the exception. You're not that special. I don't want to minimize your experience but look, it is what it is. Whatever happened in the past is in the past. You can't change it. People stay so angry with others maybe in hopes of getting "back" at them for what they did. The only person you are hurting is yourself. Whatever happened in the past happened in the past. Learn from the mistakes of the past, yours and others', and let it go.
2. Forgive: In keeping with the first suggestion, holding a grudge tears people apart. Sadly, more times than not, holding that grudge against that old boyfriend who hurt you, that parent who mistreated you, whoever, only hurts you. Do you really think it's affecting them? Grudges destroy your soul. Forgiveness isn't about the other person. Be selfish; forgive those who hurt you. If the person has passed, close your eyes, see them in your mind's eye, talk to them, and forgive them. If they're still on earth hey do whatever you want to do, in person or the same as if they were gone. All that matters is you do it. Do it for YOU. I promise you'll feel better.
3. Choose to be happy: My friends think I'm on crack with this one. I tell them I choose to be happy. Of course they say so you can be "happy" all the time? that's unattainable". They are absolutely right. I didn't say we can control emotion. When the boss gives you a piece of his mind or momma isn't happy, guess what, you're gonna feel it. What I mean by choosing to be happy is waking up everyday with an attitude of gratitude and beginning your day believing good things will happen. There is nothing more depressing first thing in the morning than a sourpuss just waiting for the sky to fall. Look, the day is going to happen one way or another. The next 24 hours are going to happen whether you like it or not, so why not choose to make every effort to enjoy them? What's the alternative? Being pissed off all day? Hoarding all that negativity? Come on. I know you'd rather be happy.
Finally, if that jerk cuts you off; if that inconsiderate butthead gets in line in front of you; let it go, forgive them, find a good song on the car radio, jam along, and choose to be happy. You'll be "happy" you did.
Friends as always I believe in you, you just have to believe in yourself.
Seriously, did you see that guy cut you off today? What's his his problem? What about the one that cut way to the front of the line coming off the interstate? What, she can't wait like everyone else? Don't you just wanna beat them up? And boy, when you get home, somebody better not cross you because you're already on edge and you're just looking for a fight. HOLY MOLY when did we get so angry about everything?
We love to hold onto emotion don't we? We've become emotional hoarders no different than the people in those TV shows with houses full of "junk". I have friends who will hold grudges for days, months, years. I know people still upset about what happened when they were a kid and they're 40 or 50 years old. Come on people!
We are not the only creatures to feel emotion. Don't believe me, mess with that dog down the street and see what happens. The difference between us and all other creatures is we have the ability to "choose" what to do with those emotions. Some days I wonder if that is all that good a thing. At least animals led by instinct simply move on once the temporary emotion passes.
Having said that, my faith in mankind and our ability to choose what to do with emotions is strong when I think of men like Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr.; men who had every emotional reason to lash out in anger, hate and violence but chose not to. People like Mother Teresa who chose to dedicate herself to living in abject poverty amongst such pain and sorrow and chose to be a beacon of light in the darkness of hopelessness.
When I thought about those historical notables, I wondered if maybe their ability to overcome their "emotional" natures was something few people have or whether it is inherent in all of us. I have to believe we all have the ability to act, to choose correctly, to manage our emotions. Its just easier not to. And we're all about "easy".
Friends, emotions are such an important factor in our human experience, but they should serve to enhance our experience on this journey of ours; not to overwhelm or destroy it. From personal experience, here are a few suggestions for how to handle all that "junk" in our noggins.
1. Let it GO: why are you still mad about something that happened 10 years ago? Anger is an incredibly destructive emotion. Long-term anger is something common within families. Listen, the truth is most of us grew up in dysfunctional families. Believe it or not, they are the norm. The perfect families you see on TV, those are the exception. You're not that special. I don't want to minimize your experience but look, it is what it is. Whatever happened in the past is in the past. You can't change it. People stay so angry with others maybe in hopes of getting "back" at them for what they did. The only person you are hurting is yourself. Whatever happened in the past happened in the past. Learn from the mistakes of the past, yours and others', and let it go.
2. Forgive: In keeping with the first suggestion, holding a grudge tears people apart. Sadly, more times than not, holding that grudge against that old boyfriend who hurt you, that parent who mistreated you, whoever, only hurts you. Do you really think it's affecting them? Grudges destroy your soul. Forgiveness isn't about the other person. Be selfish; forgive those who hurt you. If the person has passed, close your eyes, see them in your mind's eye, talk to them, and forgive them. If they're still on earth hey do whatever you want to do, in person or the same as if they were gone. All that matters is you do it. Do it for YOU. I promise you'll feel better.
3. Choose to be happy: My friends think I'm on crack with this one. I tell them I choose to be happy. Of course they say so you can be "happy" all the time? that's unattainable". They are absolutely right. I didn't say we can control emotion. When the boss gives you a piece of his mind or momma isn't happy, guess what, you're gonna feel it. What I mean by choosing to be happy is waking up everyday with an attitude of gratitude and beginning your day believing good things will happen. There is nothing more depressing first thing in the morning than a sourpuss just waiting for the sky to fall. Look, the day is going to happen one way or another. The next 24 hours are going to happen whether you like it or not, so why not choose to make every effort to enjoy them? What's the alternative? Being pissed off all day? Hoarding all that negativity? Come on. I know you'd rather be happy.
Finally, if that jerk cuts you off; if that inconsiderate butthead gets in line in front of you; let it go, forgive them, find a good song on the car radio, jam along, and choose to be happy. You'll be "happy" you did.
Friends as always I believe in you, you just have to believe in yourself.
"The perfect families you see on TV, those are the exception. You're not that special. I don't want to minimize your experience but look, it is what it is. " I love this :D heehee As always thank you friend.
ReplyDelete