What Are Words If You Really Don't Mean Them?
You might remember Chris Medina. He was a 2010 American Idol contestant. More specifically, he was the contestant whose fiancee had suffered a horrible vehicle accident and sustained permanent brain damage. The reason he was memorable wasn't for his talent or her accident, but the fact he stayed by her side even after it was evident she would never fully recover from her injuries. This wouldn't be so uncommon if it wasn't for the fact it is uncommon. Chris promised he would stay by her side through thick and thin long before her accident. Two years earlier, he took a knee at a Starbucks where Juliana worked and asked her to marry him. She accepted and he pledged he would be by her side until the end of time.
In our throw away society where we don't fix anything anymore, we just throw it away and buy a new one, relationships have taken a toll. Many people take the same attitude towards relationships they take with "things". Everybody loves the honeymoon stage of a relationship but when it gets hard, they're outta there.
While many of us thankfully don't have to go through the extremes Chris and his courageous girlfriend Juliana did in our relationships, too many of us hit the eject button far too quickly.
Yeah I know the "traditional" notion of suiting and marriage is old school and maybe I'm just a product of my times and a prisoner of my era, but I just don't think most of us give love a chance.
There is so much more to relationships than the honeymoon stage and while nothing can ever replace the feelings we get when we first meet or when we first marry, I prefer to believe those feelings simply mature and evolve into comfort, companionship, and trust.
We all know we aren't really "us" when we first meet someone we like. We are salespeople selling the very best version of us. We're on our best behavior and hoping the other person will want to stick around to maybe just maybe, see the rest of the stuff we're made of.
Of course, the rest of "us" isn't as tidy or perfect as the version we sell the other person is it? No, in time we don't keep as perfect a home, we don't always pick up after ourselves, we forget to put the toilet seat up. Yeah, in time we become "human" to each other. We even argue and disagree on things. Good heavens!!!! Not argue. That is enough these days for people to break up.
People argue. People fight. People don't always see eye to eye. So what? That's life.
I don't know what vows you took but mine went something like "for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, in good times and bad, till death do us part." I would assume at some point in most Western marriages words of that sort are uttered. So what do they mean if you don't really mean them?
Do they mean, "for poorer but not for too long cause I want the richer or I'm leaving?" Do they mean "in sickness but not too must sickness cause I'm not sticking with a bed-ridden spouse." I thought they actually meant what they meant and you probably did too the day you said them at your wedding or the day you promised to love that special someone.
Friends, I know stuff happens. Sometimes a break-up is inevitable. Sometimes relationships are dangerous or extreme or toxic and a break-up is the only solution. Having said that I dare to say so many relationships could be saved if we really gave weight to our words. If we really followed through on our vows, our promises. If we really "worked" at our relationships rather than just throwing them away like yesterday's newspaper.
I for one am thankful there is a post-honeymoon phase to relationships. First, I couldn't hold my gut in permanently or I would have passed out at some point. Secondly, if I were any further from perfect, I'd start coming back around. Yet I am loved. Not always agreed with, but always loved.
I am inspired by Chris Medina and his story. Not because I feel pity for him or Juliana but because I am awed by his dedication to her and his commitment to never leave her side. He is an amazing example of the devotion one human being can have for a another.
I leave you with the last verse of Chris' hauntingly beautiful song and a link to his video if you so desire to see it. I also leave you with the hope you cherish the people in your life, especially those who know the real you and still choose to love you anyway.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQY4dIxY1H4&playnext=1&list=PLA7D1B3BE3FCB9764
"Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
And I'm gonna be here forever more
Every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most
In our throw away society where we don't fix anything anymore, we just throw it away and buy a new one, relationships have taken a toll. Many people take the same attitude towards relationships they take with "things". Everybody loves the honeymoon stage of a relationship but when it gets hard, they're outta there.
While many of us thankfully don't have to go through the extremes Chris and his courageous girlfriend Juliana did in our relationships, too many of us hit the eject button far too quickly.
Yeah I know the "traditional" notion of suiting and marriage is old school and maybe I'm just a product of my times and a prisoner of my era, but I just don't think most of us give love a chance.
There is so much more to relationships than the honeymoon stage and while nothing can ever replace the feelings we get when we first meet or when we first marry, I prefer to believe those feelings simply mature and evolve into comfort, companionship, and trust.
We all know we aren't really "us" when we first meet someone we like. We are salespeople selling the very best version of us. We're on our best behavior and hoping the other person will want to stick around to maybe just maybe, see the rest of the stuff we're made of.
Of course, the rest of "us" isn't as tidy or perfect as the version we sell the other person is it? No, in time we don't keep as perfect a home, we don't always pick up after ourselves, we forget to put the toilet seat up. Yeah, in time we become "human" to each other. We even argue and disagree on things. Good heavens!!!! Not argue. That is enough these days for people to break up.
People argue. People fight. People don't always see eye to eye. So what? That's life.
I don't know what vows you took but mine went something like "for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, in good times and bad, till death do us part." I would assume at some point in most Western marriages words of that sort are uttered. So what do they mean if you don't really mean them?
Do they mean, "for poorer but not for too long cause I want the richer or I'm leaving?" Do they mean "in sickness but not too must sickness cause I'm not sticking with a bed-ridden spouse." I thought they actually meant what they meant and you probably did too the day you said them at your wedding or the day you promised to love that special someone.
Friends, I know stuff happens. Sometimes a break-up is inevitable. Sometimes relationships are dangerous or extreme or toxic and a break-up is the only solution. Having said that I dare to say so many relationships could be saved if we really gave weight to our words. If we really followed through on our vows, our promises. If we really "worked" at our relationships rather than just throwing them away like yesterday's newspaper.
I for one am thankful there is a post-honeymoon phase to relationships. First, I couldn't hold my gut in permanently or I would have passed out at some point. Secondly, if I were any further from perfect, I'd start coming back around. Yet I am loved. Not always agreed with, but always loved.
I am inspired by Chris Medina and his story. Not because I feel pity for him or Juliana but because I am awed by his dedication to her and his commitment to never leave her side. He is an amazing example of the devotion one human being can have for a another.
I leave you with the last verse of Chris' hauntingly beautiful song and a link to his video if you so desire to see it. I also leave you with the hope you cherish the people in your life, especially those who know the real you and still choose to love you anyway.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQY4dIxY1H4&playnext=1&list=PLA7D1B3BE3FCB9764
"Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
And I'm gonna be here forever more
Every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most
Wow fabulous cuz, and so true! love you lots, keep on sharing :) Carmen Lourdes Carrion
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