The "F@*&" It Moment
Ever had a F*&^% it moment? You know, that moment where things aren't going your way and the stars just seem to be aligning against you? When seemingly all the news is bad, and you really can't fathom from where you're standing just how the hell you're going to make it?
I'm going through one of those right now. Please know, I'm not sharing this with you for sympathy but to make a point. I am luckily versed in "tough-times". More than once I've been at a crossroads which would significantly alter the rest of my life and with the assistance of some unknown being or force, I have always seemed to choose the correct path. Sometimes a new one, one I didn't even consider possible opens up right in front of me. Yet in this case, I fear no magic paths will be showing themselves. I think the future of my life and those who depend on me is yet again, strictly weighted on my shoulders. And so I will, hesitantly take one step, and then another, and hope I am taking them in the right direction.
The Army does a lot of things right. One thing it doesn't, is really giving one the confidence one is ready to take on the "real" world. You know the world most of you live in. That world is terrifying to those of us in uniform. Like every single Soldier who ever wore the uniform long enough, I have been successful at reaching a point where I can stay or retire from it. Understandable, Army retirement doesn't come with a condo in Orlando and Bingo on Fridays. Its just a small pension based on a small percentage of what I make as an active duty Soldier. Thus, if I were to get out, I would definitely need to find employment elsewhere. The hard part is nobody joins the Army, stays in 20+ years, achieves significant rank, only to be released on the streets to go compete against 20somthings. Or at least no one hopes to. Yet in a tight economy, that sort of thing happens all the time. You have people getting out with a wealth of knowledge and experience and while some who have networked their butts off (we have a name for them but I won't use it) while still on active duty end up finding jobs commensurate with their financial and career levels, most of us schmucks, have to take 20 steps back and start all over again. Hell for that, I would have never joined the service and be some divisional vice president for some company at this point.
Currently one of my options is to stick it out in the service. With it comes a guaranteed move to Europe somewhere. Sounds fun and sexy, but both locations I'm being offered come with a one-year guarantee'd deployment to Afghanistan. I sorta said my goodbyes to that place the last time I left there after a 15 month deployment away from all those I loved. I have NO desire to go back, but will if called on.
The only other option is call it a day. Put in my retirement papers and take my chances out there, in the real world, where most of you live. I don't know that world well. I've lived in this one pretty much my entire adult life. It terrifies me. But I figure I've seen some real bone-heads leave the Army after 20+ years and do ok for themselves so I should be ok.I wish the answers were easier. I wish the job offers were multiple and the line of people wanting me to join their companies long. The truth is that doesn't really happen in the real world. Ultimately, if I get out, I will have to wear my best JCPenny suit, pop a couple of tic-tacs, and start beating the streets in hopes someone will be willing to give this ole boy an opportunity to prove what he can do.
The unknown is a very scary thing. That is how mediocrity keeps us for so long. As distasteful as the idea of going back to Afghanistan is, as undesirable as a move to Europe might be for me, being a Soldier is all I know and ultimately, I will more than likely err on the side of safety. I won't feel good about it, but I will do it. Not because I hate my job or am unappreciative for the opportunities in front of me, just because I was hoping for other opportunities to open up.
After all that rambling about me, me, me, you might be wondering why the hell I've wasted your time with my personal troubles. I think the lesson to be learned here is one, to always be appreciative when you are lucky enough to have options. So many Americans don't. And second, no matter how this turns out, as nervous as I am for the future, I have a firm belief there is a higher power working on my behalf.
I've tried to be a good person my whole life. I've tried (and sometimes failed miserably) at doing the right thing and taking care of others, not for glory, not for at-a-boys, but because it was the right thing to do. Because if I were in a tight spot, I'd sure hope someone came around and helped me up when I was down. I don't know that it means much in the big scheme of things, but I believe it will all work out in the end and I will end up exactly where I am supposed to be. It may not be anywhere close to where I envisioned myself, but this isn't a fairytale story. It is simply the story of me.
For those of you going through similar changes in your lives, whether they be career, love, loneliness, depression, family situations, or esteem issues, know you are not alone. Know there is a force in the universe which will make a difference in your life if you just trust it, and let it do what it will. Don't stand in its way, even when it is taking you into unfamiliar territory. More times than not, you'll find yourself in a better situation than you ever could have dreamed of yourself.
These are tough times, scary times, yet they are OUR times. Wherever any and all of us end up, I hope you will continue your journey with me. As always I believe in you, you just have to believe in yourself.
I'm going through one of those right now. Please know, I'm not sharing this with you for sympathy but to make a point. I am luckily versed in "tough-times". More than once I've been at a crossroads which would significantly alter the rest of my life and with the assistance of some unknown being or force, I have always seemed to choose the correct path. Sometimes a new one, one I didn't even consider possible opens up right in front of me. Yet in this case, I fear no magic paths will be showing themselves. I think the future of my life and those who depend on me is yet again, strictly weighted on my shoulders. And so I will, hesitantly take one step, and then another, and hope I am taking them in the right direction.
The Army does a lot of things right. One thing it doesn't, is really giving one the confidence one is ready to take on the "real" world. You know the world most of you live in. That world is terrifying to those of us in uniform. Like every single Soldier who ever wore the uniform long enough, I have been successful at reaching a point where I can stay or retire from it. Understandable, Army retirement doesn't come with a condo in Orlando and Bingo on Fridays. Its just a small pension based on a small percentage of what I make as an active duty Soldier. Thus, if I were to get out, I would definitely need to find employment elsewhere. The hard part is nobody joins the Army, stays in 20+ years, achieves significant rank, only to be released on the streets to go compete against 20somthings. Or at least no one hopes to. Yet in a tight economy, that sort of thing happens all the time. You have people getting out with a wealth of knowledge and experience and while some who have networked their butts off (we have a name for them but I won't use it) while still on active duty end up finding jobs commensurate with their financial and career levels, most of us schmucks, have to take 20 steps back and start all over again. Hell for that, I would have never joined the service and be some divisional vice president for some company at this point.
Currently one of my options is to stick it out in the service. With it comes a guaranteed move to Europe somewhere. Sounds fun and sexy, but both locations I'm being offered come with a one-year guarantee'd deployment to Afghanistan. I sorta said my goodbyes to that place the last time I left there after a 15 month deployment away from all those I loved. I have NO desire to go back, but will if called on.
The only other option is call it a day. Put in my retirement papers and take my chances out there, in the real world, where most of you live. I don't know that world well. I've lived in this one pretty much my entire adult life. It terrifies me. But I figure I've seen some real bone-heads leave the Army after 20+ years and do ok for themselves so I should be ok.I wish the answers were easier. I wish the job offers were multiple and the line of people wanting me to join their companies long. The truth is that doesn't really happen in the real world. Ultimately, if I get out, I will have to wear my best JCPenny suit, pop a couple of tic-tacs, and start beating the streets in hopes someone will be willing to give this ole boy an opportunity to prove what he can do.
The unknown is a very scary thing. That is how mediocrity keeps us for so long. As distasteful as the idea of going back to Afghanistan is, as undesirable as a move to Europe might be for me, being a Soldier is all I know and ultimately, I will more than likely err on the side of safety. I won't feel good about it, but I will do it. Not because I hate my job or am unappreciative for the opportunities in front of me, just because I was hoping for other opportunities to open up.
After all that rambling about me, me, me, you might be wondering why the hell I've wasted your time with my personal troubles. I think the lesson to be learned here is one, to always be appreciative when you are lucky enough to have options. So many Americans don't. And second, no matter how this turns out, as nervous as I am for the future, I have a firm belief there is a higher power working on my behalf.
I've tried to be a good person my whole life. I've tried (and sometimes failed miserably) at doing the right thing and taking care of others, not for glory, not for at-a-boys, but because it was the right thing to do. Because if I were in a tight spot, I'd sure hope someone came around and helped me up when I was down. I don't know that it means much in the big scheme of things, but I believe it will all work out in the end and I will end up exactly where I am supposed to be. It may not be anywhere close to where I envisioned myself, but this isn't a fairytale story. It is simply the story of me.
For those of you going through similar changes in your lives, whether they be career, love, loneliness, depression, family situations, or esteem issues, know you are not alone. Know there is a force in the universe which will make a difference in your life if you just trust it, and let it do what it will. Don't stand in its way, even when it is taking you into unfamiliar territory. More times than not, you'll find yourself in a better situation than you ever could have dreamed of yourself.
These are tough times, scary times, yet they are OUR times. Wherever any and all of us end up, I hope you will continue your journey with me. As always I believe in you, you just have to believe in yourself.
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